You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
