Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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