Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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