Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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