So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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