My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
