I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
