He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
