Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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