My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
