I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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