susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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