Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
