You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just cropdusted the office
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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