yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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