You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
