I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Someone came in the potted fern
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
