Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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