i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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