i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
