I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
