New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
