brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
