We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
