Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
