You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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