He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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