This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
