It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
