I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You were trust falling into bushes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
