Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
