I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
