things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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