its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
