Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
