I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
