OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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