so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize