you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
