I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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