We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
