week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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