woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
