my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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