You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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