I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
