You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
