am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
