The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
