I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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