I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
