im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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