You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
