Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
