just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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