i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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