Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
