oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
