Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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