Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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