Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
